Ethnography: Greetings & Introductions

 

名刺交換　めいしこおかん　"meshi kokan"
The Japanese Ritual of Business Card Exchange


I've worked in the Software Development industry for over 15 years, and the "client meeting" is something I've experienced many times. It can take a number of different shapes: a sales meeting, a product pitch, a multi-session technical discovery, or even a contract negotiation over lunch... I've been a party in so many that it can be difficult to remember how stressful my first experiences were. 

It wasn't always this way. When I started as a Junior Programmer, I guided to a shadowy beige cubicle far from any human traffic, and then summarily ignored. Like a jar of canned cucumbers, I was tucked away until I had sufficient time to pickle. 

My first client meeting experience wouldn't happen for another two years. I was working for a company who sold a web application that allowed government workers to track and report erosion at construction sites. (Pretty heady stuff, huh?) The head of sales and I drove four hours through snow-covered Wisconsin to meet with a potential new client, in hopes of signing them. And while my education prepared me to read and write computer code, one thing my coursework never prepared me for was how to conduct a meeting with client. I remember feeling this was a huge training gap. I had no idea what to expect. Why hadn't anyone told me how to act? Where to stand? What to say (and what not to say)? I remember looking over at the head of sales as he parked the car outside of the municipal building, expecting some last minute tip or guidance. He had prepared no notes, no agenda, no presentation--at least none that he had shared with me. 

"Alright," he said, stepping out of the car into the snowy November air, "let's do this."

That was my first introduction to the truth of Client Meeting Culture in America: that everyone's pretty much just winging it.

Coming from this background, I found reading about Client Meeting Rituals in Japan to be very interesting. (The mere fact that there was any ritual at all was such a different concept from what I had experienced!) The more I read, the more I was intrigued. 

One of the first rituals I heard about is called "meshi kokan", or "business card exchange". In Japan, business cards (or "meshi") are representative of the individual themselves, and should be treated with the utmost respect. The card exchange ritual outlines a short set of rules that should be followed to ensure you are showing the proper respect to your prospective client and their business!

DO:

1) Stand up. (Cards are exchanged while standing, even if you are already seated.)

2) Exchange the card. Hold your card in both hands, with the text face up and legible by the receiver. Present it with a slight bow.

3) Your status and position is telegraphed by how you present your card. If you are the seller, or a junior, present your card lower than the other individual. 

4) Verbally give your affiliation and say: "よろしくおねがいいたします" ("I'm looking forward to continuing our good relationship.")

5) Thank the individual. Take the offered card in both hands and pause to read the card carefully.

6) Keep the card out, and then place it on the table in front of you. (Pro tip: Organize the cards you receive according to the seating arrangement of the individuals at the table!)

DON'T:

1) Fold or bend the card in any way. Remember, this card is a representation of the person you're meeting!

2) Put it in your back pocket. Cards should be stored in a special case, after the meeting concludes.

3) Spend too little time reading the card. When in doubt, go the extra mile!

Why the ritual? Scholars theorize that it could have come to Japan from China, or perhaps when Western influences arrived in Japan. When asked, Gerald L. Curtis, a professor at Columbia University's East Asian Institute, admitted he did not know, and wasn't aware of anyone that actually knew! 

I came across one interesting tidbit that mused perhaps the custom stems from cultural attitudes. There is a familiar Japanese proverb: "When you see a stranger regard him as a thief!" This gave rise to a custom of getting introductions before speaking with a stranger. If possible, Japanese people will try to learn what they can about a person before meeting them face-to-face. When receiving a business card, they can get even more information on the person, which helps establish a path to trust. 

Reading about this ritual, I couldn't help but laugh in comparison at my own experiences. In American client meetings, everyone has business cards, but they are not always exchanged. It might be done quickly while everyone is shaking hands before being seated. It may not be done at all. Cards are often neglected to be carried, or the exchange just overlooked. When they are exchanged, it is typically done quickly and without fanfare. 

I have been in more than one meeting where everyone was seated and business cards were slid across the table as if we were a bunch of ranch hands being dealt-in to a hand of 5-card stud. (And really, I guess, what's more American than that? 😅 )


Meishi Kokan is just the opening act of a series of rituals involved in Japanese Client meetings. There are more rules to observe around opening the discuss, conducting the meeting, and how to conclude it. I'm excited to learn more about this type of etiquette, in case my Japanese studies one day intersect with my professional life!

Did You Know:

  • Japan has its own culture around gift-giving. Clients sometimes bring a gift to the meeting, although the gift is typically not opened in front of the client. Acceptable gifts include sweets, beer sets, or food.
  • Seating at a Japanese Meeting has its own ritual. Seating arrangement is typically indicated by the hosts. The head ranking person ("gicho") sits furthest from the entrance, with those closest to the entrance being of lowest status.  
  • After a client meeting, you may take your clients out for drinks. The Japanese call this のみかし("nomikashi"). These drinking events could go late into the evening, or even the next day. 

More Reading:

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